You immediately notice perfectionism when you struggle with negative thoughts in your work process, combined with reactions from your surroundings. In this context, the fear of the unknown often plays a significant role, often unconsciously.
- The most challenging part is breaking this thought pattern because it will, especially in the beginning, frequently rear its head.
If you find that you can’t truly be satisfied with yourself, your work, or other things, there is a good chance that you are a perfectionist.
The Root Of The Urge For Perfection
Often, the inclination to strive for the best of the best arises from dissatisfaction with our own abilities. You feel like you’ve failed, and that echoes in everything you will do next. This desire often stems from the belief that what you are or create has no value because you don’t attribute value to yourself.
Your self-worth
How this belief came into your life can happen in many ways, through people in your environment, your school, or other setbacks.
Everything you do or attempt holds a mirror to yourself.
Therefore, do you find it necessary that things have extreme value as a form of compensation? With this, you prove to yourself a bit of self-worth, and this is something you also want to unconsciously let your surroundings know.
If you struggle with this in any area of your life, it’s important to know what kind of perfectionist you are:
The Hesitant Perfectionist
- struggles to start
- an inspiration/motivation block
Perfectionism occurs in the creative process. This can apply to various things: writing an email, music, or essay, but also closing business deals or managing your health.
You realize you are a hesitant perfectionist when, before you even begin, you struggle with thoughts that tell you all the things that you can’t do or couldn’t do.
Your creativity either doesn’t manifest at all or is stifled, and you quickly run into something like a writer’s block.
This happens because:
Sometime in the past, you made it your goal to be or become something: a good writer, employee, manager, artist, etc…
When you try to start your work, you notice that the inspiration or energy you believe you need is absent. Your beliefs about who you are don’t align with what you are doing. This sets the stage for frustration because you have high expectations of yourself.
If you identify with this, you often get stuck in the early stages of what you want to accomplish. This form of perfectionism often arises from a combination of self-expectations you want to meet and dealing with the initial phase of a process where much remains uncertain.
But there is another type of perfectionism:
The Stubborn Perfectionist
- can’t finish tasks
- not satisfied with the end result
In this case, you don’t find it difficult to make plans and execute them meticulously. You are good at focusing and completing tasks.
The problem, however, is that it’s never finished in your eyes.
You will always lean towards perfection, even if you don’t exactly know what it takes to make it perfect. If you find it challenging to put an end to it and be content with yourself or a project, you are more of a stubborn perfectionist.
I struggle with both…
Then you have passed with flying colors as the ultimate perfectionist.
In fact, throughout the process, whatever it may be, you are constantly evaluating every small step you take. So, even if you’ve just started, you may already think that everything is going to fail.
How To Break With The Viscious Circle Of Perfectionism:
- Think in broad strokes
Perfectionism is actually about details. As the end approaches, the little things become more important than ever. In doing so, you lose sight of the bigger picture, making it difficult for you to be satisfied.
To continue seeing the bigger picture as a crucial factor, it’s wise to take the time to ‘zoom out’. You consciously distance yourself from the small elements that stress you out.
You can do this by taking a walk, going shopping, or making coffee. Review everything you’ve been working on in your mind. Once everything is put back into perspective, new insights, possibilities, and perhaps even challenges can emerge.
Know when something is finished
Things will never be finished until we ourselves are involved. Anything involving creativity can go in all directions. It’s just a matter of taste.
In mathematics or physics, there will almost always be a definitive conclusion, and something is simply ‘finished.’
To save yourself a lot of attempts at ‘perfection,’ setting a deadline is the only solution. This can also be a deadline set by someone else for you.
In times of urgency, your critical voice in your head no longer has a say.
The agreed-upon time for something to be finished will determine whether it is done.
Becoming Friends With Your Inner Critic
If you want to get rid of your perfectionism, that doesn’t mean you should ignore the critical voice in your head. This voice serves a purpose.
It’s self-reflection that scrutinizes everything you do to see what can be improved, often in comparison to others. The degree and negativity of this reflection say something about how perfectionistic you are.
Therefore, ONLY focus on the possibilities and not on the obstacles that seem to be there.
- “I will never be as good as…”
- “My inspiration will never be there.”
- “Who am I to be satisfied with what I do?”
To save yourself from stubborn perfectionism, there is no other way than to see others as inspiration instead of your opponents.
What will not help:
1. Thinking too much before you start: Starting something also means that you don’t know exactly what the end result will be. This fear of the unknown can dominate early on, making you less open to possibilities.
2. Working without some form of deadline: As mentioned earlier, a deadline is the solution to getting something ‘finished.’ If necessary, involve others in it so that you don’t keep postponing the deadline.
3. Comparing yourself with the top of your craft: Looking up to people at the top of their craft will only be beneficial if you also appreciate their talent and success. Let them inspire you instead of constantly comparing yourself to them.
Even the best of the best struggle with perfectionism and fear of failure.
4. Thinking that ideas should always come immediately: Ideas and insights come and go. Don’t get discouraged if there’s no ‘spark‘ present; this says nothing about your talent or personality.
How to find inspiration easily >>
Perfectionism vs. Striving For Quality
Being a perfectionist essentially means nothing more than having an exaggerated obsession with striving for the best possible outcome.
This ‘perfection‘ is nothing more than a desire to create or deliver quality. You will never be able to feel satisfied with work that is half-done or simply not good enough in your eyes.
Striving for the best is actually a good trait. Finding a balance where you don’t talk yourself down is what keeps you in the game.
Here’s everything in a nutshell:
- What kind of perfectionist are you? Do you get stuck more easily at the beginning or towards the end, where everything seems to go wrong?
- Try to think broadly. Be mindful of where you focus your attention and how important the details are in your mind. Stepping away from the whole picture allows you to see everything in the bigger picture.
- Set a deadline. By establishing a fixed finish line, your critical voice will be silenced. This will enable you to take more risks, and your fear of imperfection will also diminish.
- Understand your inner critic. The voice that brings you down is the same voice that encourages you and loves taking risks. Discover the root of this negative thought pattern so that perfectionism no longer hinders you in the entire process.
It can take some time
Recognizing and unlearning a mindset may take some time. Sometimes setbacks can cause you to fall back into negative thought patterns that make you believe ‘perfection’ is the only solution.
